The Nightmare Before DBZ
by Moley
Summary: Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas ends up in DBZ Land. Is this the place Jack has been searching for?
1. DBZ Land

The Nightmare Before DBZ  
by Moley  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or The Nightmare Before Christmas. If I did the world would be a very scary place.  
  
A/N: My little sister always goes through strange phases in which she watches one outdated movie over and over again. During one of these phases, I was watching The Nightmare Before Christmas with her when I suddenly got the idea for this story. Since the beginning of the movie will still fit in with this story I am going to leave it out. Also,this story (like so many of my stories) is a plot-hole. It does not really fit anywhere, so it is kind of in the Saiyan Saga. It might help if you look at the story as a movie, because they never fit.  
  
Narrator: On the last exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ, Jack Skellington decided he was no longer happy being the Pumpkin King, so he went in search of new meaning for his life- I mean non-life.  
  
*****  
  
Jack Skellington was making his way toward the tree with a Christmas tree painted on it, when he tripped over one of the trees large roots. He wasn't injured because he was made entirely of bones. Jack's ghost dog, Zero came to check on his fallen master, but seeing everything was just fine decided to go chase his non-existent tail instead.   
  
Jack was now attempting to stand up,but he had to replace a few bones before this was even possible. He was prepared to open the Christmas door when he happened to notice another group of trees standing several feet away. The first door he saw had a strange creature, that seemed to be a mixture of a cat and a rabbit painted on it. There were various other doors with various paintings such as: a reverse-blade sword; a picture of a giant, almost humanish robot; and an oar. However, one door in particular caught the Pumpkin King's attention more than the rest. This was a door with a painting of an orange ball, covered in stars. Why such an odd scene caught his attention, Jack could not begin to understand. All he knew was that this could be the answer that he had been searching for. He opened the door but nothing happened, but then a strong current appeared, dragging him down into the depths of the strange tree. The door shut behind Jack, so poor Zero (who was still chasing his non-existent tail) was left alone in the odd forest.  
  
*****  
  
Jack was knocked out when he landed on a giant jagged rock, but he quickly regained consciousness. He found himself in a strange new world, a world he never imagined could possibly exist. Naturally he started singing,  
  
"What's this? What's this?   
There's dragons in the air  
What's this?   
There's a girl with blue hair  
What's this?   
I can't believe my eyes  
I must be dreaming  
Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair  
What's this?   
  
"What's this? What's this?   
There's something very wrong  
What's this?   
There's a man with hair really long  
  
"What's this?   
Clothes the man is lacking  
Little creatures are attacking  
Everybody seems so strong  
Can I possibly finish this song?   
What is this?   
  
"What's this?   
There are people throwing blasts  
with halos on their heads  
They're busy making wishes  
a dragon brings back the dead   
  
"There's a glow around every fighter  
Oh, I can't believe my eyes  
And it's from all the energy  
That's coming from inside   
  
"Oh, look  
What's this?   
They jump into the sky, they fly  
Why that looks so unique, inspired  
They're gathering around to fight  
Roasting enemies with fire  
What's this?   
  
"What's this?   
In here there's a man that's green, how queer  
And who would ever think  
And why?  
  
"He's wearing very strange clothes  
He's got a cape and pointy shoes  
And there's a smirk on everyone  
So, now, correct me if I'm wrong  
This looks like fun  
This looks like fun  
Oh, could it be I got my wish?   
What's this?   
  
"Oh my, what now?   
The children are asleep  
But look, an old man reads a magazine  
No ghouls, no witches here to scream and scare him  
Or ensnare him, only girls in bikinis  
Secure inside his dreamland  
What's this?   
  
"The monsters are all missing  
And the nightmares can't be found  
And in their place there seems to be  
Good fighting all around   
  
"Instead of screams, I swear  
I hear a girl shouting in the air  
The smell of burning corpses  
Is absolutely everywhere   
  
"The sights, the sounds  
They're everywhere and all around  
I've never felt so good before  
This empty place inside of me is filling up  
I simply cannot get enough   
  
"I want it, oh, I want it  
Oh, I want it for my own  
I've got to know  
I've got to know  
What is this place that I have found?   
  
"What is this?"  
  
(Okay, so this might not be the best song in the history of the world, but you don't know how long it took to rewrite it to fit this story."  
  
At this point a sign appeared out of nowhere, and Jack ran into it skull first. After recovering from massive trauma to the skull, Jack read the sign with his non-existent eyes, "DBZ Land, hmm..."  
*****  
  
The DBZ characters had been watching in a confused manner the whole time the crazed skeleton had been running around singing. They were now wondering just what in the name of Kami was happening.  
  
Krillin was the first of the group to speak, "Exactly what just happened?"  
  
"I'm-not sure..." Bulma replied, still very confused. However, no one was more confused than Goku, who had been wished back in the middle of Jack's song.  
  
*****  
  
Narrator:Has Jack finally found what he has been searching for? Will the Dragonball Z character's ever figure out what is going on? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ. 


	2. Town Meeting

The Nightmare Before DBZ  
by Moley  
  
Disclaimer:I still don't own DBZ or TNMBC. Just leave me alone! *cries uncontrollably*  
  
A/N: I hate rewriting these songs, but I finally did it. I just hope you enjoy it more than I enjoyed rewriting it.  
  
Narrator:On the last exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ Jack found DBZ Land and sang a very long song; while the DBZ characters were left very confused.  
While Jack was of singing through DBZ land, the citizens of Halloween Town were busy looking for the lost Pumpkin King. They did everything except place his flesh-less face on the back of a milk carton. They were begining to feel discouraged.  
  
*****  
  
At Dr. Fenkelstien's Place  
  
Sally was busy poisoning the Dr. yet again. Only this time she had to convince him that she wasn't trying to poison him, and like a moron he fell for it.  
  
*****  
  
Back in Halloween Town  
  
The citizens have finally decided that the search was hopeless when they heard Zero's bark. This gave them all hope. Their Pumpkin King was returning home. Jack came through the town gates.   
  
"Where have you been?" the Mayor asked.  
  
"Call a town meeting and I will tell everyone all about it," Jack replied.  
  
"When?"  
  
"Immediatley!"  
  
So the Mayor called a town meeting.  
  
*****  
  
At the Town Meeting  
Jack starts off by saying,"Listen everyone. I want to tell you about DBZ land." And then he began to sing,   
  
"Listen, there were objects so peculiar  
They were not to be believed   
All around, things to tantalize my brain   
It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen   
And as hard as I try  
I can't seem to describe  
Like a most improbable dream   
But you must believe when I tell you this  
It's as real as my skull and it does exist  
  
"Here, let me show you   
This is a thing called a dragon(holds a up a handy dandy Polaroid)  
The whole thing starts with a dragonball"(holds up the one-star dragonball)  
  
Devil  
"A dragonball?  
is it steel? "  
  
Werewolf  
"Does it crawl?"   
  
Harlequin Demon  
"Does it contain a saw?"   
  
Devil, Werewolf, Harlequin Demon  
"A saw  
How delightful, a saw"   
  
Jack  
"If you please  
Just an orb with bright orange color(points back to the dragonball)  
And the whole thing's topped with a star"  
  
Witches  
"A star?"  
"But why?"  
"How ugly"  
"What's in it?"  
'What's in it?"  
  
Jack  
"I have already said, you should know"  
  
Clown  
"It's a bat?  
Will it bend?"   
  
Creature From Under The Stairs  
"It's a rat  
Will it break?"  
  
Sea Creature  
"Perhaps it s the head that I found in the lake"   
  
Jack  
"Listen now, you don't understand  
That's not the point of DBZ land   
Now, pay attention  
  
"Now we pick up an oversized doll(holds Chiaotzu up before the audience)  
And sling it like this all around"(Jack slings Chiaotzu around. At this point doll boy screams out,"Put me down!! Just wait until Tien hears about this!!!!")  
  
Mr. Hyde  
"Oh, yes! Does it kill?"   
  
Medium Mr.Hyde   
"Let me see, hold it still"  
  
Small Mr. Hyde  
"Does it use a large drill?"   
  
Jack  
"Hmm, let me explain  
It doesn't kill, but it fights  
Or sometimes it even wins"  
  
Mummy and Winged Demon  
"fights"  
  
Winged Demon  
"Does it bite?"   
  
Mummy  
"Does they snap?'   
  
Winged Demon  
"Or explode in a sack?"  
  
Corpse Kid  
"Or perhaps its face   
scares small girls and boys"  
  
Mayor  
"What a splendid idea  
This DBZ sounds fun  
Why, I fully endorse it  
Let's try it at once"  
  
Jack  
"Everyone, please now, not so fast  
There's something here that you don't quite grasp  
Well, I may as well give them what they want  
  
"And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last   
For the ruler of this DBZ land  
Is a fearsome fighter with a deep mighty appetite  
Least that's what I've come to understand   
And I've also heard it told  
That he's something to behold  
Like a pumpkin, huge and orange   
And sets out to slay with his power pole  
Riding on a cloud that carries him through the sky  
That is, so I've heard it said   
And on a dark, cold night   
Under full moonlight   
He transforms into an ape  
Like a werewolf in the night  
And they call him Kakarot (emphasis on rot)  
  
"Well, at least they're excited  
Though they don't understand  
That special kind of feeling in DBZ land  
Oh, well... "  
  
*****  
  
Back in DBZ Land   
  
"Has anybody seen Chiaotzu today?" Tien asked the others.  
  
"No," everyone replied.  
  
"Hmm... that's strange," Tien said and then he shrugged "Oh, well. No big loss."  
  
*****  
  
DBZ Land (in Bulma's flying car thingy)  
  
"That's strange only six of the dragonballs are showing up on the dragon radar," stated Bulma.  
  
"I blame it on faulty manufacturing," Krillin replied.  
  
"What did you just say!?"  
  
"Uh... nothing Bulma."  
  
"I have you know I am a mechanical genius, so you take that back right now!" Bulma screamed loudly. Not being able to do two things at once, she let go of the steering wheel, sending the car crashing into a large mountain."  
  
Narrator:Will the citizens of Halloween town actually succeed in having their own DBZ episode? Will Tien ever find Chiaotzu? Did those inside the flying car thingy survive the accident? If so will they survive Bulma's wrath? Will Moley ever finish rewriting all the songs in this story? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ. 


	3. Obsessed Much

The Nightmare Before DBZ by Moley  
  
Disclaimer:Nope,still don't own them.  
  
Narrator: On the last exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ Jack called a town meeting and told everybody about DBZ land.  
  
Jack is at his house reading the latest issue of Shonen Jump. "There has got to be a logical way to explain this DBZ thing," Jack thought out loud.  
  
*****  
  
Later at Dr. Fenkelstien's Castle  
  
Dr. Fenkelstien locked Sally away for poisoning him once again and was suffering from a severe hang-over from said poisoning. Just then the doorbell rang. "Come in," said the Dr.  
  
"Hel-lo!" Jack shouted in a cheerful manner, which did nothing for Dr. Fenkelstien's headache.  
  
"Jack Skellington, up here my boy."  
  
"Dr. I need to borrow some equipment," Jack stated. "Is that so, whatever for?" Dr. Fenkelstein asked. "I'm conducting a series of experiments." "How perfectly marvelous. Curiosity killed the cat, you know," the Dr. said. "I know," replied Jack. The two went into Dr. Fenkelstien's lab to gather the equipment Jack would need for his experiments.  
  
*****  
  
At Jack's House  
  
Jack returned home and began a series of experiments. He begins by placing a dragonball in a vat of acid, which causes the orangeness to disappear, leaving the ball white and plain.(sort of like the way jaw breakers loose their coloring when you have had them in your mouth for a while) For the next experiment, he took apart the dragon radar and examined it piece by piece. After many, many different experiments he finally came to the last one. In this experiment he was trying to disict the giant doll (a.k.a. Chiaotzu, who up until this point had been kept in a jar, because he kept trying to escape. This experiment didn't work out so well, because when Jack got the knife close to Chiaotzu, doll boy screamed out,"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" and proceeded to blow himself into oblivion.  
  
"Interesting reaction... but what does it mean?" Jack asked himself, obviously aggravated.  
  
*****  
  
At Dr. Fenkelstien's Castle  
  
Sallly was busy making a basket of deliciously yummy things like fish bones. She lowered the basket down on a rope and then threw herself out the window. She lands with a thud and in several different pieces. She sewed herself up with a needle she kept behind her ear. She then began walking toward Jack's House.  
  
*****  
  
Still at DR. Fenkelstien's Castle  
  
Dr. Fenkelstien opened Sally's door and was prepared to let her out, but she was nowhere to be seen.  
  
*****  
  
At Jack's House  
  
Sally raised the basket up to Jacks room where Jack was busy working out a ridiculous equation(it looked sort of like this: dragonball+flying cloud=tail/dragon-namek+scouters,etc.) Jack unhooked the basket and looked at its contents. When ever he looked back down Sally was gone.  
  
*****  
  
Outside of Jack's House  
  
Sally sat down beside a wall. She picked a flower, which burned in her hand.  
  
The citizens of Halloween Town began to sing,  
  
"Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack Don't know if we're ever going to get him back He's all alone up there Locked away inside Never says a word Hope he hasn't died (my question here is how a skeleton can die) Something's up with Jack Something's up with Jack"  
  
Jack "DBZ land is buzzing in my skull Will it let me be? I cannot tell There are so many things I cannot grasp When I think I've got it, and then at last Through my bony fingers it does slip Like a spirit bomb in Krillin's grip  
  
"Something's here I'm not getting Though I try, I keep forgetting Like a memory, long since past Here in an instant, gone in a flash What does it mean? What does it mean?  
  
"In these little bric-a-bracs A secret's waiting to be cracked These dragonballs confuse me so Confound it all, I love it though  
  
"Simple objects, nothing more But something's hidden through a door Though I do not have the key Something's there I cannot see What does it mean? What does it mean? What does it mean? Hmm...  
  
"I've read these Shonen Jumps so many times I know the stories and I know the lines I know the DBZ songs all by heart My skull's so full, it's tearing me apart As often as I've read them, something's wrong So hard to put my bony finger on  
  
"Or perhaps it's really not as deep As I've been led to think Am I trying much too hard? Of course! I've been too close to see The answer's right in front of me Right in front of me  
  
"It's simple really, very clear Like ki blasts flying through the air Invisible, but everywhere Just because I cannot see it Doesn't mean I can't believe it  
  
"You know, I think this DBZ thing It's not as tricky as it seems And why should they have all the fun? It should belong to anyone  
  
"Not anyone, in fact, but me Why, I can make a dragon with my hand And there's no reason I can find I couldn't handle this DBZ land  
  
"I bet I could improve it too And that's exactly what I'll do Hee, hee, hee  
  
"Eureka! I've got it"  
  
"This season DBZ will be ours!" Jack screamed out of his window.  
  
And the peasants rejoice.  
  
Narrator:Has Jack lost his ever-loving mind? Will he actually go through with his crazy plan? Did Chiaotzu make it back to DBZ's other world, to live out the rest of his death with King Kai? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ. 


	4. Lock, Shock, and Barrel

The Nightmare Before DBZ  
by Moley  
  
Disclaimer:I still don't own them!  
  
A/N: I like this chapter because my three favorite characters, Lock, Shock, and Barrel are in it.  
  
Narrator: On the last exciting episode of the Nightmare Before DBZ, Jack showed us exactly how obsessed he was with DBZ, Sally escaped again, and Chiaotzu became a victim of suicide.  
  
"Patience, everyone. Jack has a special job for all of us," the Mayor of Halloween Town shouted to crowd waiting impatiently for their assignments, "Dr. Finkelstien, your DBZ assignment is ready. Dr. Finkelstien to the front of the line." Sally, who had once again escaped from Dr. Fenkelstien's castle took this time to hide, in a not so inconspicuous hiding spot.  
  
*****  
  
Inside Some Place  
  
Jack was showing the vampires the dragonball (the dragonball by some strange miracle was back to it's original orange color, that is if you consider Jack staying up to repaint it a miracle)  
  
"What kind of color is that for a dragonball to be?" one of the vampires asked.  
  
"Perhaps it could be improved?" Jack replied/questioned.  
  
"No problem!!" answered the vampires joyfully, or at least as joyfully as a vampire could answer.  
  
"I knew it!!" Jack announced happily.  
  
As the vampires left, Dr. Fenkelstien entered the room. "Dr. thank you for coming. We need one of these," Jack said holding up a picture of Goku on the flying nimbus.  
  
"Hmm.. its construction should be exceedingly simple. I think."  
  
"How horrible our DBZ will be," the Mayor butted in.  
  
"NO-how exciting," Jack corrected.  
  
"Oh, how exciting our DBZ will be," said the Mayor as he switched faces. Just then several things flew through the air and hit him upside the head. He turned around to see the one thing - well, three things he had hoped he would never see again in his whole non-life of seeing things. "What are you doing here!?"  
  
"Jack sent for us," answered Lock.  
  
"Specifically," said Shock.  
  
"By name," added Barrel.  
  
"Lock," said Lock.  
  
"Shock," said Shock.  
  
"And Barrel," said Barrel. As they said their names they took of their masks, revealing their not-so-different faces.  
  
"Jack it's the Oogie's boys!" the Mayor shouted, apparently expecting Jack to do something about the three.  
  
"Ah, Halloween's finest trick or treaters. The job I have for you is top secret. It requires craft, cunning, mischief." (this is not the reaction the Mayor was hoping for)  
  
"And we thought that you didn't like us, Jack," Shock said giggling.  
  
"Absolutely no one is to know about it. Not a soul. Now-"(Jack whispers to the kids) "And one more thing -- leave that no account Oogie Boogie out of this!" Jack said pulling Lock back by his tail.  
  
"Whatever you say Jack," said Barrel.  
  
"Of course Jack," said Shock.  
  
"Wouldn't dream of it Jack," Lock added for good measure.  
  
The whole time the trio had their fingers crossed and hidden behind their backs. After this they made there way back to their hide out, all the while thinking of the job Jack had just assigned them. Just like everything else this ended in a song.  
  
ALL THREE  
Kidnap Mr. Kakarot  
  
LOCK  
I want to do it  
  
BARREL   
Let's play paper-scissors-rock  
  
"It's rock-paper-scissors, you idiot," Shock said interrupting the song.  
  
"Whatever," replied Barrel.  
  
SHOCK (returning to the song)  
Jack said we should work together  
Three of a kind  
  
ALL THREE  
Birds of a feather  
Now and forever  
Wheeee La, la, la, la, la   
Kidnap the Kakarot  
Lock him up real tight   
Throw away the key and then   
Turn off all the lights   
  
SHOCK  
First we are going to set some bait  
Inside a nasty trap and wait  
When he comes a-sniffing we will  
Snap the trap and lock the gate  
  
LOCK  
Wait! I've got a better plan   
To catch this big orange pumpkin man  
Let's pop him in a boiling pot   
And when he's done we'll butter him up   
  
ALL THREE  
Kidnap the Kakarot  
Throw him in a box  
Bury him for ninety years  
Then see if he talks  
  
SHOCK  
Then Mr. Oogie Boogie Man  
Can take the whole thing over then  
He'll be so pleased, I do declare  
That he will cook him rare  
  
ALL THREE  
Wheeee  
  
LOCK  
I say that we take a cannon   
Aim it at his door   
And then knock three times   
And when he answers   
Kakarot will be no more   
  
SHOCK   
You're so stupid, think now  
If we blow him up to smithereens  
We may lose some pieces   
And then Jack will beat us black and green  
  
ALL THREE  
Kidnap the Kakarot   
Tie him in a bag Throw him in the ocean   
Then, see if he is sad   
  
LOCK AND SHOCK  
Because Mr. Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around   
If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town   
  
BARREL   
He'll be so pleased by our success   
That he'll reward us too, I'll bet   
  
ALL THREE  
Perhaps he'll make his special brew  
Of snake and spider stew   
Ummm!   
We're his little henchmen and   
We take our job with pride   
We do our best to please him   
And stay on his good side   
  
SHOCK  
I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb  
  
BARREL  
I'm not the dumb one   
  
LOCK  
You're no fun  
  
SHOCK   
Shut up  
  
LOCK   
Make me  
  
SHOCK   
I've got something, listen now   
This one is real good, you'll see   
We'll send a present to his door   
Upon there'll be a note to read   
Now, in the box we'll wait and hide   
Until his curiosity entices him to look inside   
  
BARREL   
And then we'll have him   
One, two, three   
  
ALL THREE  
Kidnap the Kakarot, beat him with a stick   
Lock him up for ninety years, see what makes him tick   
Kidnap the Kakarot, chop him into bits   
Mr. Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks   
Kidnap the Kakarot, see what we will see   
Lock him in a cage and then, throw away the key   
  
*****  
  
Oogie Boogie's Lair  
  
Oogie Boogie had been listening to the song being song above. He was now thinking of all the torturous fun he could have with this Kakarot fellow. "Kakarot...hahaha," he said out loud.  
  
*****  
  
Back In DBZ LAND  
  
A lot of time had passed since Chiaotzu had turned up missing, so Tien decided he should look for the little clown. In an attempt to look as if he were searching, Tien lifted a piece of paper. "Chiaotzu, are you under there?" he asked peering under the sheet of wide-ruled paper.   
  
When no answer came he looked behind the picture frame, under a rock, and in the refridgerator (this was mostly because the search had made him extremely hungry), but he still could not find his little friend. Feeling discouraged, Tien gave up the search and went to Capsule Corp. to play a game of cards with Yamcha.  
Narrator: Will the Oogie's Boys complete the task Jack has set for them? Will there be another pointless song in the next chapter? Will Tien ever actually look for Chiaotzu? Find out on the next exciting episode of the Nightmare Before DBZ. 


	5. NOT KAKAROT!

The Nightmare Before DBZ  
by Moley  
  
Disclaimer: I still don't own them, and fear I never will.  
  
A/N: This chapter is a little short compared to the others, but I thought that where I stopped would be an effective ending for it.  
Narrator: On the last exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ Jack sent Lock, Shock, and Barrel in search of Kakarot and Tien began searching for Chiaotzu... sort of.  
  
*****  
  
Jack is at City Hall with the zombie band. "It goes something like this..." Jack said playing a tape recording of Cha La Head. "How about it? Think you can manage?" The band played a nasty sounding, flat rendition of the DBZ song.  
  
"Next," the Mayor called out.  
  
"Fantastic! Now why don't you all practice on that and we'll be in great shape," Jack said as the band made their way out the door. " Sally, I need your help more than anyone's," Jack said as Sally entered the room.  
  
"You certainly do, Jack. I had the most terrible vision," said Sally, her voice quivering with fear.  
  
"That's splendid!" exclaimed Jack, who wasn't even paying attention.  
  
"No, it was about your DBZ. There was smoke and fire."  
  
"That's nice," Jack replied, still not listening," This is-my Kakarot outfit. I want you to make it." Jack pointed to a picture of Goku's clothing.  
  
"Jack, please, listen to me-it's going to be a disaster."  
  
"How could it be-just follow the pattern. This part is orange, this is blue."  
  
"It's a mistake, Jack."  
  
"Now don't be modest, who else is clever enough to make my Kakarot outfit."   
  
At this point the Mayor shouts out, "Next!"  
  
"I have every confidence in you," Jack added just as Sally was leaving.   
  
"But it seems wrong to me, very wrong."  
  
Jack was assigning the behemoth a task when Lock, Shock, and Barrel entered the scene yelling,"Jack, Jack we caught him. We caught him."  
  
"Perfect! Open it up. Quickly!" exclaimed Jack merrily.  
  
The bag was opened, revealing a very confused Himura Kenshin. "Oro?"  
  
"That's not Kakarot!"   
  
"It isn't?" exclaimed Shock.  
  
"Who is it?" asked Barrel.  
  
"Samurai!" shouted the behemoth.  
  
The surroundings had finally managed to sink into Kenshin's poor confused brain. The only thing he could think to say was, "What have you done with Miss Kaoru!?"  
  
"Not Kakarot...take him back!" shouted a very angry Jack.  
  
Lock, Shock, and Barrel slipped the bag back over Kenshin, just as he was drawing his reverse-blade sword. "No! Not the bag!" Kenshin screamed out,"anything but the bag. It is...so cramped and... so dark."  
  
"We followed your instructions-" started Lock.  
  
"We went through the door-" added Barrel.  
  
"Which door? There's more than one. Kakarot is behind the door shaped like this," Jack said holding up the dragonball.  
  
"I told you!" shouted Shock, causing a fight to break out. Jack ended the fight by making a very frightening face which scared the three quiet..  
  
"I'm very sorry for the inconvenience, sir. Take him home first and apologize again," Jack said patting the bag. "Be careful with Kakarot when you fetch him. Treat him nicely."  
  
"Got it! We'll get it right this time," said the trio together, just before leaving.  
  
*****   
  
At Dr. Fenkelstien's Castle  
  
Dr. Fenkelstien was busy working on a new and improved companion to take Sally's place, when my hero, Igor came in. "Mathter the planth," Igor said, laying some blueprints down on the table.  
  
"Excellent, Igor," the Dr. said, while throwing Igor a dog treat.  
  
*****  
  
(A/N: I decided to leave the whole making Christmas thing out of the story since it has no place in this story.)  
  
In DBZ Land  
  
Bulma walked in," Shouldn't you guys be training or something? The Saiyans will be here soon?"  
  
All of the Z fighters were sitting at a table playing cards and for some unexplainable reason Goku was also there (he should be dead if you couldn't figure it out on your own). For the most part they were ignoring Bulma.   
  
"You could at least help me look for the dragonball, the dragon radar, or even Chiaotzu!" shouted Bulma.  
  
All of the sudden the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" said Goku happily. Goku made his way to the door and opened it to find three kids in strange masks standing outside.   
  
"Trick or treat!" shouted Lock, Shock, and Barrel.  
  
"Is it Halloween alr-" Goku was cut-off by the bag that was thrown over his head.  
Narrator: Will Lock, Shock, and Barrel ever get anything right? Will Bulma ever find the missing items? Will the claustrophobic, swirly-eyed samurai ever find his way back to the dojo? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Nightmare Before DBZ. 


	6. Bag of Potatoes?

The Nightmare Before DBZ  
  
by Moley  
  
Disclaimer: The purple kangaroo made me do it!  
  
A/N: This chapter is kind of long and a little on the strange side. Don't worry though, it can only get weirder from here. *insert evil laughter here* Alright I think I am ok now. I finally decided to shorten the title to TNBDBZ for narrator comments and my own personal convenience. My spelling is probably off and somethings might not make as much sense to you as it did me, but... I don't feel like explaining so...JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!! He he he... just joking. I am quite hyper.  
  
Narrator: On the last episode of TNBDBZ Jack appointed Sally to make his Kakarot costume, Lock, Shock, and Barrel brought a claustrophobic samurai back in a bag, Igor made his first and only appearance in the story, and a lot of other pointless things happened.  
  
"You don't look like yourself Jack, not at all," Sally said as she was adding the finishing touches to Jack's Kakarot outfit.  
  
"Isn't that wonderful. It couldn't be more wonderful!" Jack exclaimed.  
  
"But you're the Pumpkin King."  
  
"Not anymore. And I feel so much better now."  
  
"Jack, I know you think something's missing. But -" Sally accidently on purpose stabbed Jack's finger with the needle.  
  
Jack let out an "Ow!"   
  
"Sorry," Sally apologized, sounding not so apologetic.  
  
"You're right, something is missing but what? I've got the pants, the shirt, the boots -"   
  
All of the sudden Lock, Shock, and Barrel appeared. "Jack, Jack this time we bagged him!" they all shouted proudly.   
  
"This time we really did!" Lock added.  
  
"He sure is big Jack!" stated Barrel.  
  
"And heavy!" shouted Shock.  
  
"Hey! Let me out of here!" Kakarot shouted from within the confines of the bag. Lock, Shock, and Barrel gladly dumped the saiyan out on to the floor.  
  
"Kakarot in person. What a pleasure to meet you," Jack said reaching out to shake Kakarot's hand. "Why your not rotting at all!" Jack added, sounding a bit surprised.  
  
Goku- I mean Kakarot was a bit confused."Where am I?"  
  
"Surprised aren't you? I knew you would be. You don't need to have another worry about fighting the saiyans this time."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Consider this a vacation Kakarot, a reward. It's your turn to take it easy."  
  
"What? Are you crazy?"  
  
"See that he's comfortable," Jack said as Lock, Shock, and Barrel began to once more bag Kakarot. "Just a second fellows. Of course, that's what I'm missing," Jack reached over and pulled on Kakarot's hair. Surprisingly it didn't take long for his hair to become unattached.  
  
"Hey! Give me back my wig!!!" shouted a very unhappy and very bald Kakarot.  
  
"Thanks!", Jack said, placing the wig on his skull.  
  
"Hey... Hold on where are we going now?" Kakarot said, because Jack was now walking away.  
  
"This is worse than I thought, much worse. I know... " Sally said under her breath.  
  
Lock, Shock, and Barrel proceeded to bag Kakarot again and began the process of dragging him off. A voice from within the bag was heard shouting, " I can't take a vacation. I have to fight the saiyans."  
  
"Where are we taking him?" asked Barrel. Personally he wanted to drop him off of a giant cliff onto some sharp pointy rocks, because that guy really grinded his nerves.  
  
"To Oogie boogie, of course. There isn't anywhere in the whole world more comfortable than that and Jack said to make him comfortable. Didn't he?" Lock said in answer. This pleased Barrel; Oogie boogie was a hundred times worse than being dropped off of a cliff.  
  
"Yes he did," Shock and Barrel both agreed.  
  
"Hey if you guys let me out I will give you some candy," Goku offered. (the only thing that stopped him from breaking free was that he might hurt the kids in the process and nobody should hurt kids no matter how horrible and strange they are)  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" they all three screamed together.  
  
*****  
  
At Dr. Fenkelstien's Castle  
  
Sally was rummaging through her stash of things Dr. Fenkelstien didn't know about. She finally found what she was looking for... something to stop Jack. What she found was a jar of fog juice (I personally was not aware that they were canning that kind of thing these days)  
  
Else where Dr. Fenkelstien was working on a creation to replace the defective Sally. He even went so far as giving the creation half of his brain.  
  
*****  
  
At Oogie Boogie's  
  
Lock, Shock, and Barrel were preparing to offer Kakarot to their supreme leader, Oogie Boogie. Goku had spent the whole time trying to bargain his way out of the situation to no avail. At the moment they were attempting to shove the bag (Goku and all) down a pipe that led to Oogie Boogie's lair.  
  
"I think he might be too big," stated Shock, who was now very annoyed.   
  
"No he's not. We're just not trying hard enough," Lock said in response. He took a few step back and then with a running start rammed himself into the bag. It actually worked; the bag made it's way down the pipe and into the lair of Oogie Boogie.  
  
*****  
  
In Oogie Boogie's lair  
  
Goku landed and managed to pull himself out of the bag. He was however still tied up. Of course he really didn't notice, because at the moment he was distracted by a guy that resembled a bag of potatoes. And after that he was distracted by the thought of potatoes, since he hadn't eaten in a while. And then he was distracted by the song the bag of potatoes was singing.  
  
Oogie Boogie:  
  
"Well, well, well, what have we here?  
  
Kakarot, huh?   
  
Oh, I'm really scared   
  
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about, ha, ha   
  
You're jokin', you're jokin'   
  
I can't believe my eyes   
  
You're jokin' me, you gotta be   
  
This can't be the right guy   
  
He's stupid, he's ugly   
  
I don't know which is worse   
  
I might just split a seam now   
  
If I don't die laughing first   
  
Mr. Oogie Boogie says   
  
There's trouble close at hand   
  
You'd better pay attention now   
  
'Cause I'm the Boogie Man   
  
And if you aren't shakin'   
  
There's something very wrong   
  
'Cause this may be the last time   
  
You hear the boogie song, ohhh "  
  
Three Skeletons: "Ohhh"  
  
Oogie Boogie: "Ohhh"  
  
Two Skeletons: "Ohhh"  
  
(there are several more Ohhhs but this is getting monotonous)   
  
Goku just stared blankly at Oogie Boogie.  
  
Oogie Boogie: "You're jokin', you're jokin'  
  
I can't believe my ears  
  
Would someone shut this fella up  
  
I'm drownin' in my tears  
  
It's funny, I'm laughing  
  
You really are too much  
  
And now, with your permission  
  
I'm going to do my stuff "  
  
Goku continued to stare blankly.  
  
The music stopped. "You are supposed to say 'What are you going to do?'!!!" Oogie Boogie screamed.  
  
"Oh, sorry...What are you going to do?"  
  
The music started back.  
  
Oogie Boogie:  
  
"I'm gonna do the best I can  
  
Oh, the sound of rollin' dice   
  
To me is music in the air   
  
'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man   
  
Although I don't play fair   
  
It's much more fun, I must confess   
  
With lives on the line   
  
Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy   
  
Now that'd be just fine"  
  
Goku once again was staring blankly (he was kind of enjoying the show though).  
  
The music stopped once more. "You are supposed to fight... and scream... and stuff... you're not making this much fun!" Oogie Boogie whined.  
  
"Oh... sorry again. LET ME GO, FOUL BEAST!"  
  
The music started back.  
  
"Oh, brother, you're something   
  
You put me in a spin   
  
You aren't comprehending   
  
The position that you're in   
  
It's hopeless, you're finished   
  
You haven't got a prayer   
  
'Cause I'm Mr. Oogie Boogie   
  
And you ain't going nowhere"  
  
*****  
  
Back in DBZ Land  
  
Our heroes are preparing to fight Vegeta and Napa, who showed up some time in between the last chapter and now.   
  
"We are really going to hurt you guys. We're going to beat you up and then we are going to break all of your bones and then we're going to...uhh...kill you, yeah! Isn't that right Vegeta?"  
  
"Shut up, Napa."  
  
"Man, I think these guys are serious..." Krillin whispered to Yamcha who was standing near by.   
  
"Dude, I think you should negotiate with them," Yamcha said as he shoved Krillin forward, mostly for shield purposes.  
  
"Me!? Why me!?"  
  
Yamcha stopped to think for a moment, "Because you negotiate well, that's why!" (Yes that is all he could come up with.)  
  
*A/N: No, I am not picking on Yamcha again, Kynthia. I am merely stating that under the current circumstances he could not come up with a more plausible excuse. That being said, I will return to the fic now.  
  
"Well...Ok...if you say so..." Krillin said inching his way forward.  
  
"Geez, what a sucker," Yamcha said under his breath.  
  
Krillin turned around, "What was that?"  
  
"Oh, nothing..." Yamcha said with a goofy smile.  
  
Krillin continued forward and then stopped when he felt he was too close to the saiyans, who were both staring at him, smirking. "Uh, excuse me...sir..." he said quietly.  
  
"Oh, so you want to be the first to die, huh?" Napa said a little too happily.  
  
Vegeta just stood there.  
  
"UH! Wait! No!! I just wanted to tell you that we are not worth your time... Goku's the one you want to fight. He's real strong he could really kick your butts." Krillin stopped to think for a moment. Krillin your such a moron! Why would they wait for someone who is stronger than them to show up when they can just kill you now!? Krillin mentally screamed at himself.  
  
"Yeah right, why would we wait for someone stronger than us to show up when we can kill you now!?" Napa shouted.  
  
Krillin flinched and mentally kicked himself.  
  
"Napa, I thought I told you to shut up!" Vegeta shouted in that funny little voice he had during the Saiyan Saga. "We will wait four hours for this warrior to show up," Vegeta said holding up three fingers.   
  
Everyone began laughing.   
  
Vegeta, finally noticing his mistake, was infuriated, "Just for that you now only have three hours!!!! And then I am going to let Nappa rip everyone of your heads off!!!"  
  
(dramatic freeze frame of a close up of Vegeta's screaming face)  
  
A/N: Don't you just hate it when that happens. Something interesting- well, kind of interesting starts to happen and they end it by freezing the stupid scene. Oh well...)   
  
Narrator: Will Goku ever escape from the lair of the horrid bag of potatoes? Will Jack make it in time to fight the Saiyans? Will Moley ever finish this story? Find out on the next exciting episode of TNBDBZ.  
  
A/N: Are these narrator comments annoying you people as much as they annoy me? 


	7. Jack Wears Combat Boots

The Nightmare Before DBZ  
  
By:Moley  
  
Disclaimer: The yellow rubber ducky just informed me that I still don't own Dragonball Z or the Nightmare Before Christmas.  
  
A/N: I know it has been forever since I last updated, but I kinda lost interest in DBZ for a while. Anyways, I know this is a really short chapter but I decided to go ahead and post anyways. There are probably like a million errors in this one chapter alone because I hate proof reading. It's the devil!!!!  
  
Narrator: On the last episode of TNMBDBZ Lock, Shock, and Barrel finally managed to deliver Kakarot to Jack. Jack stole Goku's hair, Oggie Boogie sang, and Vegeta proved that Saiyans can't count even when using their fingers. Oh and Goku has three hours to get back to his own time or else his friends are in for some serious but kicking.  
  
Sally poured the fog juice stuff into the fountain in the middle of town hoping to destroy Jack's plan of fighting the Saiyans, Jack appeared flying in on something that resembled a storm cloud, and the Mayor was rambling on about something in the background, "Think of us as you soar triumphantly through the sky outshining every star. Your silhouette a dark blot on the moon, you who are our pride, you who are our glory, you who have frightened billions into an early grave."  
  
The fog began to thicken.  
  
The Mayor continued his rambling, "You who have eh, devastated the souls of the living... "  
  
The fog thickened more and everyone became distraught, especially the former pumpkin king. He was going on about how all of his plans had gone down the drain, and there was no way that the cloud could ever find it's way through the fog when the Dr. was kind enough to point out that clouds don't have eyes, so it should be able to find it's way through the fog easily enough.   
  
Sally started to object, but Jack flew off to quickly. So she did the next best thing and whispered her goodbyes, " Good bye Jack, my dearest Jack. Oh how I hope my premonition is wrong."  
  
A/N: at this point in the story Sally sings a very long terrible song that I can't stand to write about so I am going to pretend like it never existed.   
  
What song? I really don't know what you are talking about.  
  
***  
  
Back in DBZ Land  
  
A/N: A lot of time has passed since we last saw the hopeless Z warriors. During that time many things have happened and I (being the lazy person I am) don't feel like going through the process of writing a bunch of pointless crap so here is a quick overview:  
  
Napa destroyed many cities and a few armies  
  
The three hours ran up  
  
Vegeta sent the Saibaman to fight the Z warriors  
  
Nappa beat the crap out of everyone  
  
During all of this Yamcha, Tien, and Piccolo died (Chaotzu would have if he hadn't already committed suicide in an earlier chapter)  
  
I will now start the story just as Jack enters the scene...  
  
Jack flew up on his storm cloud. Krillin and Gohan looked up expectantly. "Yay! Goku's here to save us!!!" Krillin shouted.   
  
"Yeah and he is going to kick your butt," added Gohan proudly.  
  
"So Kakarot has finally decided to make an appearance. It is about time," Vegeta said casually.  
  
Just then Jack, complete with combat boots and Goku's hair jumped off of the cloud. Everyone stared blankly.  
  
And a moment later...  
  
"This is Kakarot!!" laughed Nappa. "Now that is funny."  
  
Vegeta looked a little peeved, "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke!!!"  
  
Gohan was speechless. Krillin finally spoke, "Are you feeling ok pal? You look a little...umm...dead..."  
  
"Who is this!!!!" demanded Vegeta.  
  
Jack, wasting no time introduced himself, "I am Goku, here to save this planet from you evil villains!" Jack strikes a dramatic pose. "Don't you recognize me?"  
  
Vegeta had had enough. "Nappa!!! Kill him!!!!"  
  
It didn't take much for the freakishly tall Saiyan to burn the former pumpkin king into a pile of ashes.  
  
And all Krillin could say was, "Oh Crap!! I think we may be in trouble."  
  
Narrator: Will the evil Saiyans destroy DBZ land? Will Jack ever pull himself back together? Will it take the author half a year to write the next chapter? Find out on the next exciting episode of TNBDBZ. 


End file.
